Word of the Day: verisimilitude

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verisimilitude (n.)- the appearance of being true or real

Just because I am a wolf-shifter, some of the humans think I have an unfair advantage in life. Truth is that I’ve really worked so fuckin’ hard to earn a place with the wolves.

And nobody knows this more than Kelsey. My personal Angel.

As a matter of fact, she is the Highest of all the Angels– healing my life in every way possible: physically, mentally, and spiritually. I don’t know what I would do without her.

She is the one healing me now.

“What were you THINKING?!” she says. I groan. I’m thinking she said that more to herself than to me because I’m too busy going in and out of consciousness to care what the hell she is saying right now. “Attacking a grown bear like that?! You’re still early in your training.” I hardly hear what’s being said because I’m laid out in the snow with my head ringing. I took a grizzly paw to the head and now there is blood running down my face and into my eyes. Pain ramifies inside of me, reaching each limb, flowing like the spilt blood that’s supposed to be circulating my body. And just when it feels like all of the muscles and bones in my body are about to give way, I feel a sudden warmth.

Energy!

It seeps through me and I find myself becoming one with it. Surrendering to it. Suddenly, nothing else matters. I just want more of that warmth.

I open my eyes. My vision is blurred but slowly it’s coming back. The bear I was mauled by is walking away now, its haunches covered in snow.

A white ghost.

I feel Kelsey’s hands on my head and ribcage. God that feels good. I look at her without moving my head because doing so would still hurt too much. It surprises me the Angels don’t have wings like the stereotypical angel I grew up knowing. They can still fly though.

Then I look around the glen as my body slowly replenishes. I am in snow heaven. There is snow everywhere. A white wonderland. Then I see the bear disappear into the forest. Good riddance. I will have to get a meal from somewhere else. My lips part.

“It messed me up good, didn’t it?”

“That’s an understatement. I don’t even know why I do this for you.” I feel the guilt then. Even in the pain. Because I know EXACTLY what she is talking about.

“I still care about you,” I say, ribs still aching. I wince. She was worth the effort though.

“Oh please. Just rest. I know you’re just going to run back to Her after this.” As I come to, her voice suddenly sounds like music to my ears. It’s as if I can suddenly hear better. Her powers must be working. The blood in my ears is gone. “That’s all you ever do,” she continues. Wait what? “And like a fool, I keep giving you chances.”

Left with no kind of comeback whatsoever, I simply succumb to feeling.

Then I see it. Is it…real? It’s gotta be.

I blink.

The verisimilitude of the wolf in the distance is confirmed when Kelsey’s scrutiny follows mine. My wolf sense responds. It’s her.

My heart and soul.

The second we meet eyes, we lose ourselves to the primitive nature inside of us.

“You see what I mean?” Kelsey says looking back at me. That’s so unfair. 

“I mean what do you want me to do? I love her. And it’s a love deeper than that superficial shit. It’s like I can’t control myself. It’s the wolf in me.”

Kelsey looks away from me.

“I know.” She sucks her teeth in frustration. Us angels are told not to fall in love with the wolf-shifters. Stupid me. That’s exactly what I did.”

Wow. She really knows how to make me feel like shit. I breathe again and my head no longer throbs. Neither does my side.

I am healed!

“Thank you,” I say rising to my feet. I meant what I said but it feels like it’s not enough. There is a emptiness I don’t know how to fill.

“The least you can do is…” She pauses and looks back at my mate at the edge of the forest. Then back to me.

“Kiss Me.”

WHAT?! How could… I can think of forty seven things I want to say when there is a sudden touch on my mind.

Gail. She is using the telepathy connection we share. We had just gotten out of a fight. That’s why she wasn’t hunting with me. Her voice sounds understanding.

“Kiss Her,” she says. What? “I can’t love you the way she can. We are wolves and Kelsey is an Angel. I am grateful you’re healed. So this is my way of saying thank you.”

I look at Kelsey.

“Ok.”

Without another word, I put my arms around her and give of my soul.

Word of the Day: Overt

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overt (adj.)- plainly or readily apparent; not secret or hidden

Angie sat on the stairs with her hands in her lap. She gave me a searching look. As if reading the essence of who I am. I was never the one to cry wolf. I was hungry like the wolf. My ambition she was tired of. It was written all over her face.

That beautiful face.

“You didnt have to embarrass him like that.” I grin. Not because I’m an asshole. More because I’m genuinely an asshole. I can’t fuckin’ help it.

“I deserve you,” I say. “Not him.”

“I’m not a prize to be won,” Angie says. I understand what she says but I hear it better. Her voice says one thing but communicates something different.

She is…happy. Glad. Content to be rid of him Content to be with me.

She stands.

“You ready to jump roofs.”

“Yep.”Since we started parkour training a week ago, I must say my muscles have been feeling somewhat sore. Her boyfriend challenged me to a race last night and lost miserably. I mean dont get me wrong, I’m still in great shape. It’s just that the landing part of parkour can’t even compare to the thrill of being in flight.

We head to the roof. She opens the door and immediately a rush of cold air breathes it’s way into the corridor. The breeze feels good on my hot face.

“You dont have to try win every time we race you know,” she says. “That’s not the way to a girl’s heart.”

“I thought that was mine already,” I say. “What else must I do?”

Angie walks over towards the edge of the building and looks down. The mind of the city is loud in my ears. People. Cars. Dogs. Cats. And the gravel underneath our feet.

Angie turns around after looking at whatever the hell she was looking at and begins to walk towards me with long, elegant strides.

“What else must you do?” She stops right in front of me and cups her hands on my chin and jawline. Her touch is welcomed.

“Make the jump for me,” Angie says. “Not for you.”

“I thought that’s what I did,” I say.

“We both know your pride won my attention. Now I want you to win my heart.” I gulp. I’m not ready. A grin stretches across her face.

I begin to stretch to prepare for one of many jumps I know I will make. This one feels different somehow. It’s not overt either. She can tell I’m feeling a little nervous about the whole situation. Regardless, I take to a sprint and leap with all of the strength I can muster. I feel my legs kick as if I’m propelling myself forward. The other side approaches quickly and before I know it, I land on the building and allow myself to roll forward to take away the force from the jump. I stand up and look back. Angie is still watching me.

“What you waiting for? Come on,” I yell. “Make the jump for me.”

Word of the Day: Aesthetic

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aesthetic (adj.)- concerned with beauty or the appreciation of beauty.

I need to go out. It feels good to finally relax and what not. I mean truly, it does, but this room is too cramped. I rise from my chair and open the sliding door to go outside to enjoy the ocean.

Then I see her.

She is standing beneath the outside shower on our wooden balcony overlooking the ocean, her head tilted back and the water caressing her body from head to toe. My mouth drops. I think I might be jealous of the water on her tanned skin.

My heart picks up and blood and heat rushes to my groin in waves. Her aesthetic curves swing around her black thong and elegantly pushes her black top out in front of her so that I could see the fullness of her breast. Her hands reach back and run through her hair gloriously. Like a goddess.

Long fingers. Productive fingers she has. They run down her arms, over her chest, and down her legs as she bends over in front of me. I breathe again before I forget to.

I take a step onto the wood. It’s warm underneath my feet but I barely notice.

I’m in need her.

And I want her. That’s what matters.

I stride two more times and it’s enough for me to be on her back, pulling her back up towards me by her hair so that she is standing straight again and pushing my sex against the small of her back and down to her round butt. Fuck that feels good. I succumb to the feeling as she gasps and looks back at me. I look down at the tiny droplets on her neck and they run from me down to her cleavage as if to hide from my scrutiny of her.

Her neck. It’s so vulnerable there, all stretched out underneath my stare. I bend down slowly and press my nose against it and then smell it, starting from its base on up to her ear. Her scent pleases me.

“Your body is like the earth,” I whisper. She puckers her lips slightly. Blink, and I would’ve missed it. I grin. I must say I do like having her all to myself in my hands like this.

“Dont forget who made it so,” she responds. “I work hard for this.” A dark chuckle escapes my lips before I can stop it. She fits so well in my world.

One of my favorites.

“You make it worth it,” I say. “Tell me what else I need to know.” I exhale into her ear. And she breathes ragged against my inhale.

Breathe. Breathe.

“You think you ready for that?” she asks. She shifts her eyes back towards our magnetic connection and then back towards my eyes. They are brown and inquisitively moving back and forth ever so slightly underneath long, black eyelashes. Her mouth and nose are open, allowing her breath to feed her heart of which I’m sure is pumping furiously inside of her chest.

Pumping for me.

Before she can do anything else, I grab her by the throat with my other hand and pull her closer to me, her back on my chest. Of which is breathing heavily now.

“Follow me.”

And I push the back of her neck forward where she catches herself on the rail with her hands. I strip her of her thong in one decisive pull and fill her with my everything in the presence of Mother Nature.

Word of the Day: Esoteric

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Esoteric (adj): understood by or meant for only the select few who have special knowledge or interest; secret; confidential; private

When I looked into her eyes, deep, past the tear hanging from each, I felt the anger ebb slowly away, sinking, sinking, an anchor latched to its ankle, pulling it back down to dormancy. That’s when I knew she was something more than just another beautiful face. She mattered.

So esoteric was the rage I felt that the world in itself could have easily been swallowed whole by an impermeable wall of darkness that even a black hole couldn’t manage. Breath, heart, lungs, stomach, genitalia. All responding, all trusting. And those eyes, somewhere lost in a color between green and blue, and her hair black as a blank television screen, falling down, down past her shoulders. Even past the middle of her back.

No one had been able to conquer my rage…until now. That was her purpose. And as selfish as this sounds, another part of me, the one who had toiled for years and years to obtain the success I so richly deserve, had wanted to hold on to that anger for as long as I could. But now I know, that kind of passion was just slowly killing me. Holding me in place for years and years, not knowing the damage it was doing, not knowing the irony that came with its protection. I wasn’t safe holding onto such rage, even though it is what gave me so much power. What I needed now was control over that power. So I decided to make a new decision.

Hate.

“I’m here.” Such a soft voice. Amazing what two words could do to all of the pain, all of the agony, all of the heartache I’ve endured. Two words.

I’m here.

And to think my little bitch of a sister is the reason for so much of my heartache, prodding into my affairs without the right to even do so. Fighting for my love when she knows me and her will never be a match. The dumb bitch. But at least I can feel my chest again without it hurting so much.

The woman standing before my very eyes has brought something into my life I couldn’t see before.

Reason.

Reason to not want to destroy any and everything in my path. Reason to give this world another chance, even though it has had nothing but cruel intentions against me. Reason to love myself truly, not by giving myself all of my attention, but by loving another.

Love. Hate.

The two things in my life now that make the world go round.

“I’m sorry for what I put you through,” I say, chest heaving, wanting to push against hers while unsure as to whether I deserved the right to do so. She places a hand over my heart and feel the thing beating away passionately. Furiously.

“There is no need baby. I have you.”

And that’s when life changed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Word of the Day: Impetuous

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Impetuous: (adj.) 1. acting or done quickly without thought or care; rash; impulsive

2. moving forcefully or rapidly

When she is looking at me the way she is, all wide-eyed as if I may disappear if she so happens to blink, her lips parted so that only a whisper could escape her lips and her legs wrapped around my waist as if my body was as much as a part of her own as her full breasts on my chest, its no wonder my blood boils with a blinding passion to want to lose myself inside of her. An impetuous kiss, before I can change my mind, before she can breathe again. Now, her breath is mine.

Our lips are locked, wet and unforgiving, searching for any and everything: the truth, the beginning, the end… An anger swells my chest at the thought of not knowing the taste of her until now and the need of her embrace feeds the fire of my soul I thought to be dead before she became the everything in my world. What a moment. I am lost in these emotions, lost in her motion.

The motion.

The next thing I know, I do the most cliche thing I’ve ever done in my life. With one massive swipe of my arm, I clear the desk of all the shit that’s not worth mentioning, her body still cradled close to my body in my other arm. Close to my heart, the vibrating thing. She lets out a sound I dare not call a laugh because its so filled with ravenous want that I can feel it in my bones. One of the most liveliest sounds I’ve ever heard. I push myself against her just before sitting her on the desk and she goes completely berserk. The hem of my shirt…over my head. Her hands…fumbling my buckle. I knock them away and start doing it myself because she is taking too long. A devil of a giggle spills from her tongue and she scratches me, all ten fingers, down my chest, my abdomen. Best feeling ever. Me being naked, I start taking her clothes off, having to reluctantly pull away from another kiss to pull her shirt off and free her cleavage. I hear my breath in my ears and it sounds so foreign. Ragged, harsh, even unsure, as if to whether its supposed to be sustaining my life or hers. Who knows? I’ve lost my end and her beginning. We are tumbling as one, a kaleidoscope of colors, a melody of beautiful savagery, a perfect storm with monstrous waves and vengeful winds. Her skin is soft under my long fingers, warm and reddened with anticipation. I’ve waited and waited and waited for this. Her hair between my fingers. I yank, lifting her chin and exposing her throat. She gasps. Her smell is…divine. My want explodes.

Finally, she is naked. My heart beats wildly at my ribs as we make eye contact and then time stills. She is ready.

I am ready.

I pull her to me and then…

I wake up.